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The Second Bite

Midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s a wild, holy becoming. This is your invitation to experience midlife as it was meant to be: sweet, curious, delicious.

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Who do I become when I can't be who I was?

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Dear Reader, I'm just going to say it. It's been a ferocious start to the year! It's my dear friend in Minnesota reaching out in pain and terror about what is happening to her community and neighbors. It's my dad – linking his arm in mine outside the hospital ward, steering me away from my mother's room, saying: We need to talk about her last scan before you go in. Honey… it's so bad. It's my sister (of all people) lashing out. And...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Dear Reader, Your metaphysical toolkit is not a guilty secret. No matter what your 9 to 5 looks like. I keep coming back to something Jaiya John wrote: “ Our great misunderstanding is that we believe some things are meant to be done soullessly, and other things soulfully. Gradually, this line creeps. More and more we live soullessly, believing it to be the easier way. Nothing is meant to be lived soullessly. Ease has nothing to do...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Hi Reader, Lately my family has been teasing me about what they call my fully honest NO. For nearly fifty years, I couldn't say no without guilt or explanation—but that's finally shifted. I'm not overcommitting the way I used to. FOMO doesn't have the same lure. I'm far more honest about my actual capacity. And maybe most surprisingly, my relationships feel stronger. That's because I'm learning to live above what I call The Resentment...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Dear Reader, Seven years ago, I was traveling for work when my phone rang with the call every daughter dreads. My mom was being rushed to the hospital. Her cancer was back—in her heart this time. She might not make it through the night. I felt completely helpless. And so, so scared. Our relationship wasn't healed yet. I wanted more time. Before that phone call, I used to take 3 or 4 trips a year—following whatever called to me. An...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. All growth emanates from a place of rest, Reader. Every time we work for love and belonging, we betray the principle that makes growth possible. We hustle for worthiness. We better ourselves to exhaustion, believing transformation is something we earn through effort. That if we just try hard enough, we'll finally arrive at the life—the self—we're meant for. A seed doesn't work. A baby doesn't, either. They do not do; they rest, and...

A December blessing for Reader. May you remember that knowing yourself is radical workin a culture built to keep women pleasing and preoccupied. May you notice when your reflex is to do the practical thing —the thing that won’t rock the boat,won’t place a burden. May this month be a time of listening. Listening beneath the exhaustion, the sleepless nights,the unanswered messages, the caregiving,the life lived in service to others. Listening beneath the expectationthat you should have it...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Dear Reader, This is a love letter to the courage it takes to show up for yourself and your calling when every old pattern would rather you stay where it’s safe and familiar. Growing into our deep work takes time — and a fierce kind of wherewithal to keep finding our way. My own call — to ignite a revolution of midlife women who know their values and their value — has been a slow becoming. It’s taken me years to claim it without...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Hi Reader, As I’ve been telling people about an upcoming trip—the dates, the location, the solitude—I keep hearing myself say the same thing first: “I feel guilty…” I feel guilty planning a solo trip.I feel guilty spending money on my own growth.I feel guilty my husband and daughter will have to figure it out without me.I feel guilty the retreat inn is so lovely and the shoreline close enough to taste the salt. Guilt is such a fluent...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Hi Reader, Have you seen the betrayal list trend floating around? People naming all the ways life betrays them — the “urgent” email that lands at 4:59 p.m.,the day off that fills with chores,the moment you finally sit down… and someone hollers your name. It’s funny — but something about it catches in my chest. Because underneath the chuckles, I feel a deeper wish: a collective longing to name what’s hurting,to stop pretending we’re...

Support for women ripening into their second bite of life. Hi Reader, One of the sweetest (and most humbling) parts of parenting a tween is remembering what it’s like to be uncensored. To lean into being the most annoying version of yourself, just for laughs.To shout, “Watch this! Watch this! ARE YOU WATCHING THIS?” as you throw your weight into another handstand.To fall in love with a song and play it loud — over and over. Watching my daughter live unfiltered reminds me how far many of us...