What do you expect rest to DO for you?


"Rest and laughter are the most spiritual and subversive acts of all. Laugh, rest, slow down."
— Anne Lamott

Here's a question for you, Reader: what do you expect rest to do for you?

I used to expect rest to feel like dessert — a reward for after the big win, for whenever I'd finally "earned" it.

Last week, lake-deep with nowhere to be and nothing to do, I caught myself expecting the spaciousness to make things happen for me.

Was I relaxing enough to access my intuition?

Was I actually hitting the deep reset button?

By day three, floating in emerald water with not another soul in sight, I finally clocked how absurd it was to be peppering myself with these burdensome questions.

The reason I was pressuring myself to unwind, if I'm honest, was to "get" insights about a decision. And of course, the more I chased that clarity, the more it evaded me.

It strikes me that for slowness and joy to be spiritual or subversive, we have to unpick them from the landscape of urgency and responsibility around — and within — ourselves.

Each night by the lake, I passed my worry about this decision to my dream maker (my preferred nickname for our unconscious) — like a note slipped under a door: show me the way.

What I got back in the morning was a stiff neck from an unfamiliar pillow and what my mentor calls "grocery store dreams" — the hazy, ho-hum, trying-to-get-my-suitcase-packed kind.

She'd caution me that dreams like these don't count for much. But I believe all dreams show us where we are, especially the mundane ones.

So maybe rest did work on me after all.

Not by handing me the answer I craved, but by patiently showing me where I'm standing. And how uncomfortable it is to be still in such a messy place.

Maybe that's the deeper subversion Lamott's talking about: not just resting, but trusting the unremarkable evidence it reveals.

Love,

Brooke

P.S. Unopened mail. That's what my mentor Marion Woodman called our unexamined dreams. Most of us reach midlife with decades of it piling up at our spiritual doorstep.

Fair warning, once you start opening it, you might not want to stop.

Come find out what yours has been saying at Dream Studio, my July community workshop.

We'll gather live on Zoom on Sunday, July 26 from 4-5:30 pm ET.

We'll use creative writing, expressive arts, and gentle coaching to explore what your dreams (and daydreams, and that scene from the show you can't stop thinking about) are pointing you toward.

You don't need to remember your dreams to come. And if you're already a devoted dream journaler, this is your invitation to work with them even more intuitively and creatively.

Sunday, July 26th | $24 | Live on Zoom


I'm Brooke Hofsess.

I'm a Midlife Midwife for women who want to start their next chapter from soul, not fear or ego, so they can finally do the work they're meant to do — and actually enjoy it.

You'll find me in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, where I live with my husband Dustin, our daughter Thea, two clever border collies, and an ever-growing collection of handmade mugs for Egyptian Licorice Mint tea.


Midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s a wild, holy becoming.

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The Second Bite

Midlife isn’t a crisis—it’s a wild, holy becoming. This is your invitation to experience midlife as it was meant to be: sweet, curious, delicious.

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